Let’s Do This

The writing's on the wall

Sometimes a girl just needs to wake up to a little motivation.

I think I have officially hit the mark where the “f” has left “funemployment” and wishing the “un” would join the “f” so that I can just have “employment.” I feel like I’m running a race with all the other unemployed, rushing to the finish line where a steady paycheck and health benefits and a long commute is waiting, and that I’m so behind, I might as well just walk. Heck – I might as well just stop for some donuts at the nearby coffee shop except oh wait, I have no money!  Somedays, I can hardly see the finish line. I just see my shoes hitting the pavement but it’s not moving forward.

I just need some sort of motivation, some sort of inspiration, some sort of reassurance that it will all be okay.  I hear it in my kind family and friends’ words.

But it’s not enough (no offense).

I hear it in some successful and famous people’s words:

I especially love Steve Jobs’ story on taking calligraphy class in college and utilizing that seemingly useless experience to create the whole look of Apple. It makes me feel like I haven’t wasted my time ballroom dancing… or playing improv… or watching those zillionth of TV shows.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Marianne Williamson

Preach on, sister.

Okay, so I’m feeling a little better now.

And then I hear it from God’s words.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith profuces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

-James 1: 2-4

We had this hilarious pastor, Luis Faller come in last Sunday. He spoke on the above passage and explains that problems are:

1) inevitable     2) unpredictable     3)of many shapes/sizes     4)purposeful

“Some of our greatest pains become our greatest strengths.  You cannot be happy without experiencing pain and pressure.” They:

1)purify my faith     2)fortify my patience     3)sanctify my character

How to handle my problems:

1) Rejoice     2) Pray     3) Relax

“Really?” I thought to myself after I heard this sermon. “That’s it? I don’t need to take action? I don’t need to find a way to fix it?”

“Some problems can only be solved by God.”

This will by no means be an excuse for me to slack off on looking for work.  But hopefully, it will calm my impatient heart and allow me to enjoy the moment as it is.

God, I know you have great things planned for me. I know you will use me well.  Thanks for giving me this time to spend with my family and to focus on myself and the pageant. Thank you for teaching me humility and molding me so that I won’t take my next job for granted. Thank you for allowing me to feel the instability of the times and to give me these trials to allow me to grow different strengths and to fight hard for what I want, what I believe in.  My wallet has been feeling pretty empty for the past few months but I know you will always provide. Thank you for teaching me that money and material possessions will come and go. My heart has been feeling pretty restless lately but I know you’re teaching me patience and to surrender to you. Thank you for teaching me that feelings of the heart will come and go. Everyone else feels like they’re lightyears ahead of me in terms of productivity and growing up and moving forward. Thank you for teaching me not to compare myself to others; we each move at our own pace. I wanted this different path, why am I complaining that my life is not like everyone else’s? Thank you for teaching me that my brain is so weird sometimes.

I will do great things. Let’s work on getting there.

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posted by Janice | Comment: 8 | God, Job, Personal

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