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Life is Funny…


Wednesday, 09.12.2012

And I absolutely Generic Cialis love it.

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posted by Janice | Comments: 1 | Category God, Inspirations

To The Members of The Mosquitoes Society…


Wednesday, 05.16.2012

To the Members of the Mosquitoes Society,

{ image from here }

First off, I just wanted to start by thank you for your fondness for my blood. I’m so glad that you find it to be pleasing to your taste and that you are attracted to the fluid. It’s very flattering, really.

I must say however, that your recent increase in attention has really started to perturb me. There I am, just walking around the neighborhood for a nice walk or sitting outdoors at a cafe having a friendly chat, and you find me a convenient place to get your drink on. It’s really not so polite. Have you ever heard of personal space?

I am a person with a slight lack of willpower and when you suck my blood, it really doesn’t take much for me to start scratching away. I wish I could stop  but it JUST. FEELS. SO. GOOOOOOOOOOD. I’ve tried all sorts of methods: sleeping with gloves on, spritzing myself with the beautiful scent of mosquito repellent, scratching other surface areas, pouring near-scalding hot water over my wounds but they have had slightly less than perfect results. I find myself taking the gloves off before sunrise, staying farther away from people lest they think I stink, turning the other surface areas red and irritated, and taking too long in the shower (which then makes it very uncomfortable for my roommate Sis). I’ve tried drowning myself with lemon tea and gnawing away on garlic chunks but yet you still persist, leaving me one hickey mark after another, each one more swollen, more scarlet than the next.

I write this letter even though you probably can’t read it. I write this letter because my left arm feels like it’s about to fall apart and I don’t know if I will ever be able to type again and I can’t do that without making my feelings known.

Mosquitoes, you suck.

I will now go sit on my left arm because the lack of blood circulation is the only way I can feel no discomfort because I actually can’t feel anything at all.

NOT Fondly,

The Media Maid

 
posted by Janice | Comments: 9 | Category Travel

Funniest Advice My Mom Gave Me


Friday, 05.11.2012

I contributed to Audrey Magazine‘s compilation of “Funny Advice from Moms” in anticipation for Mother’s Day. Hear my tale below (and check out the rest here!)

Throughout the years, I’ve amassed quite a collection of wisdoms from my mother. I would share them all with you here, but a big piece of advice from my mom is:

“Don’t share with the Internet advice that I tell you.”

Like many Asian mothers, she wants to give the illusion that I just spontaneously, randomly, magically became the charming, alluring, poised, well-behaved, well-kempt, and witty lady that I am today with no help whatsoever.

Hate to break it to you – but I did get a lot of helpful advice from my mother.

Helpful advice that I sometimes didn’t want and didn’t always appreciate. Helpful advice that I sometimes laughed at. Helpful advice that I sometimes took for granted. But helpful advice that I now notice nearly always rings true. Whether it’s packing a light scarf in my purse whenever I go out, taking my Vitamin C’s, being careful about who I choose to give my heart to, or standing with a straight posture — my mom’s advice makes sense.

The most outlandish advice my mom often dishes out is this upheld belief she has that anything can happen in this world. No seriously. “Anything can happen in this world, Janice” my mother would say, “you never know.”

She truly believes that a young ingénue could walk down payday loan the street and get discovered by a hot-shot director who will propel her to stardom. She believes that a big ladies’ man could take one look at the bookish girl-next-door, fall in love, and change his wild ways forever. She believes that the lottery could be won. She believes that papaya can make boobs bigger. She believes.

I used to laugh at all of this. “Really, ma?” I’d ask. “Do you live in your own world? Have you ever faced reality? Have you calculated the odds?”

But the older I got, the more I came to realize that what she was saying was right. After all, reality is partially based on your perception of the world. And if you’re endlessly optimistic like my mother, who’s to say that anything can’t happen? As the years pass, I’ve encountered more and more crazy situations and surpassed countless expectations and odds that have led me to relate more to my mother’s wise words.

My mother’s belief that anything can happen in this world is true. I would just add, “if you believe” to the end of that phrase. After all, she did turn me, a girl who used to scoff at her advice, into a believer.

So seriously, anything can happen. (If you just believe.) Hey, who knows? Maybe you’ll even think of this entry as inspiring instead of cheesy? After all, anything can ha…you get the point.

Happy Mother’s Day, mom! I love love love you.

 
posted by Janice | Comments: 1 | Category Personal

I Don’t Like White Elephant


Thursday, 12.22.2011

This year was my first time participating in white elephants for work and friends and I have to tell ya, I don’t like the game ooooone bit.

For some reason, it seems to bring the mean competitive streaks out of everyone and no matter what, people’s feelings get hurt– whether it’s you brought a gift that no one else likes or you unwrap the perfect present only to have someone steal it from you.

I suppose it’s also ’cause I like personalized gifts because it shows the person took care and thought into what to get me.

Like this picture my co-worker Peter took of me.

What can I say? I sing like no one’s watching. Unfortunately for me, someone was.

 
posted by Janice | Comments: 2 | Category Personal

When Trees Attack


Thursday, 12.8.2011

In Southern California, we’re not known for crazy weather.

But as the winds from a week ago can attest, mother nature is one ferocious beast.

I made a video about my reaction to the winds.

By the way, is it vblog or vlog? I never knew the difference.

 
posted by Janice | Comments: 3 | Category Personal

I have this problem. I have a need to share with the world my passions and interests and hope that they will also enjoy it. Hence, this blog is born- to showcase some of the things I'm most fascinated with. Most of the posts relate to the media as it relates to me. (Blame the early twenties neurosis of thinking the world revolves around you). (More..)

Email: jjann[at]themediamaid.com
Facebook: facebook.com/mediamaid
Twitter: @themediamaid

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